I’ve noticed something. Of late, a lot of the people I know have become extremely shallow in a way that maybe a lot of you have never considered shallow. For instance, we’ve always heard that we aren’t to judge a book by its cover, but to look at what’s inside. Someone mayn’t be a beauty queen but they may have the smarts to send you packing from any game of chess. Or whatever. But these people that I know? They’ve been doing the opposite. If you don’t look like a model, they’ll check to see if you’re on “their level” of smartness. And if they don’t deem you to have their own intelligence quotient, then, well…you’re not worth a grain of sand in their hourglasses.
And if you’re not really “on their level” but you’re drop dead gorgeous-congratulations! They’ll be tripping over themselves to impress you, but at the end of the day, you’re just “that airhead”. And this would apply to you even if you weren’t what they deemed attractive, but you threw yourself at them anyway, trying to be as flirtatious as possible.
This doesn’t make sense to me. And it’s one of the most pathetic systems I’ve ever come across. And yet, so many people I know are cohesive with this outlook on life! I have had the misfortune of being friends with some obnoxious people, and also being ugly and relatively stupid at the same time. Actually, scratch that. Ugly and smart, but not on “their level”.
And at this point, I’m going to have to say that if you’re the kind of person these people are, please know that you are terrible, ridiculous and absolutely repulsive. I know people who are impatient with those who aren’t smarter than them and make it a point to let the entire world know that. I know people who think that if someone isn’t doing things the way they’re doing it, that someone is worthless and doesn’t deserve time, help or attention from God’s gift to humanity, aka, said obnoxious brat. And, the worst of them all, I know people who would let go of their own friends just to conform with society.
To anybody who’s reading this, somebody’s looks, their marks, their voice or whatever it is that isn’t a reflection of their soul, doesn’t matter. Sometimes people are a little more eager to do things for their friends than everyone else because that’s part of their nature- they aren’t desperate, they’re just nice! Everyone has a different response to a situation. So if your attitude towards your friends is really laid back and you don’t expect anything from them, please know that it’s highly unlikely that everyone you know would share your code for how to behave with friends.
Something that a friend considers common courtesy, you may consider a gesture to someone really special. There is no universal handbook that can help you interpret ‘signals’, so stop pushing your friends away, simply because they seem more happy to be friends with you than others do. In fact, consider yourself lucky to have such a kind and caring friend. And if something they’re doing really bothers you, make sure you go up to them and let them know in the nicest possible way instead of saying mean things about them when they’re not around and avoiding them so that people don’t associate you with them.
If you’re a true friend, you’d stand up for your friend, no matter how embarrassing a situation they’ve got themselves in to. And if you’re bailing out on someone just to conform with society and have a bigger bunch of friends, you’ve got to realise that these new friends aren’t real friends at all! If they were, you wouldn’t need to copy their every move in order for them to accept you.
So if something your friend does ‘annoys’ you, make sure to talk to them about it gently. Try to see the concern behind their actions. More importantly, gauge their personality and their mindset. Purity of heart and intentions is the only thing that really matters. Next time you feel that someone isn’t ‘cool’ or isn’t ‘at your level’, stop for a moment before dismissing them or doing something that you know will hurt them, because they have feelings too, and hurting someone’s feelings intentionally is the most despicable thing to do, especially if it causes someone to doubt themselves and regret reaching out to you.
Keep pushing people away like that to maintain your ‘cool rep’ and it just might happen that someday, when you really need it, there won’t be anyone to extend that helping hand.
Hope this made you think!