I don’t know what it is to be okay
It’s been 900 days
And the sinking feeling
The blank pages
Follow me in my dreams
It’s been 900 days
And my eyes are strained
From spawning seas-
The gateway to my sleep
It’s been 900 days
And even a canoe
Tossed in the raging ocean
Would’ve found it’s way to shore
But not me.
Most live for ambitions
Some live for passion
I’m too simple;
I live for little things
It’s a punishment,
For, you see,
The littlest things
Are the hardest to come by
Slipping away through crevices
I am like the Gorse
My thoughts the seeds
Despite my every effort
Someday they’ll break free
But they’ll never make it through
The barrier of indifference;
The friend that overlooks
Ink diffused in tears
Full of claims of love
Accepting the smile on my face
But not noticing
The blood dripping from the corners
Where the needle sinks in to my skin
While I blister on the inside
A knife twisting
Built from my own hopes
Who knew broken hearts caused haemorrhages?
When I relapse in to happiness
Do you deserve this?
Is it right to cast your mourning aside?
And I question my way back to darkness.
So, as I may have mentioned before, I am now in college! *cue balloons and party sprinkles*
After I had completed my “schooling”, I had had a 2-month period to take the world in and have the time of my life before I would be thrown into the ninth circle of Hell-college. Everyone told me it would be a huge change but I didn’t know just how bad things were going to be.
Added to that, my particular university (yeah, my college is now a “deemed university”), was known for being more like school and less like how college should be. I assumed this would just be on the rigorousness in the academic front and so, jumped in without realising what a grave mistake I was about to make. But that’s another story.
Here are 5 things I have grasped during my first semester here:
Continue reading “5 things my first semester at college taught me”
I don’t like your kingdom keys
They once belonged to me
You asked me for a place to sleep
Locked me out
And threw a feast
I just came across Taylor Swift’s new single- Look What You’ve Made Me Do. I’m not here to diss the track or speculate about who she’s talking about. For once, I want to be someone who sympathises with a singer, about how their music is an out for their despair or joy.
Continue reading “Look what you made me do- and be afraid.”
I have to be excused for the number of 12th grade-related posts on this blog but this is taking too much of my soul away for me to reflect on anything else. Without much further ado, here is a summary of what I’m going through this May, aptly nicknamed the worst month of my life on the calendar.
Continue reading “6 thoughts on entrance month”
I’m an Indian.
It’s so funny how, most Indians would immediately sympathise (and probably empathise too) with me the second they read the title and the first line. And with anyone who’s noticed the huge influx on Indian immigrant engineers in the States or anywhere else in the world, this might be some sort of a joke. Something you chuckled at. Well, let me tell you that for someone in the eye of the storm, it is NO laughing business.
Continue reading “To engineer or not to engineer?”
If my mother found out I was writing this post right now, she’d lecture me for an hour about wasting my time, during which I would not be allowed to do anything except listen to her shamefaced, with a hanging head and after which I would be indignant, rebellious, annoyed, restless, frustrated and on the whole, completely miserable. (So much using my time wisely, mom!) Why, you ask?
Like I’ve been constantly reminding myself in my past few posts, I’m in my twelfth year of school, and I head to university after this. Aaand, my finals are less than a month away. The most important year of my life and it’s crunch time. So right now, me doing anything other than perusing these enormous books of information and solving papers is borderline blasphemous to the religion of the the Indian nerds.
My apologies, fellow Indians, but I feel like this prompt really spoke to me.
You see, when you’re in one of the most important years of your life, the year before you get in to uni, the year you’ve got to do your best-there’s no doubt about it that expectations are involved. What your parents expect of you, you from yourself, others from you and you from them-it’s utter madness.
Continue reading “Great expectations?”
So, for a twelfth grader Indian, this is the worst time of the year. And quite possibly of their entire life.
Oh, I thought you’d never ask why.
Twelfth grade is the year right before college, so doing well in your twelfth grade exams could literally make or break your entire life. No pressure, though. Don’t try to kill yourself because you think you can’t take it. (Though unfortunately, that could be said to be a common occurrence here thanks to-oh well, read on.)
India has this bizarre socio-cultural phenomenon where even the most random people who do not know your name are interested in your twelfth grade results. If you’re in tenth or twelfth grade (because they’re the two most important years in the Indian education system), then be prepared to answer questions about your ongoing studies from the milkman to the chemist. Literally, from anybody who knows how old you are.
It’s honestly one of the most disgusting and annoying things ever, because these people don’t really care about you. It’s not like they’re interested in hiring you either. So why on Earth do you so sweetly inquire about this piece of information that is so irrelevant to our relationship?
Continue reading “My last week of happiness”
AN: Sorry, I haven’t posted in a while because I had my terms, but now I’m back in business, baby! Or at least, what I think business is, anyway.
So, I’m sure a lot of you have heard about the Brangelina debacle. For those of you who haven’t, I’m just going to say that Angelina Jolie has filed for divorce from Brad Pitt. Why?
Good question. And I’m about to give you a great answer: It’s none of your business. If you think it is, I challenge you to a have a debate with me about it. Write a solid speech, with good points and let’s go through all the motions of formal debate and watch me kill the lights in your eyes when I have had my say.
Continue reading “They’re people too. #celebrities”
I am a HUGE fan of yours. You’re my favourite BTS member not only because you’re adorable but because you have an angelic voice and some really good dancing skills. I may not have been a fan for a very very long time, but I have seen the way you’ve grown and begun to sing in a more beautiful and mature manner day after day.
You’re truly the golden maknae. Loyal to your hyungs, loving to your fans, never losing your innocence and working harder and harder to make yourself a better person everyday.
I hope you know just how loved and appreciate you are throughout the world. Sorry I couldn’t write you a longer post but today, I wish you a very very happy nineteenth birthday from the bottom of my heart.
We love you Jungkook!
Keep making the Army proud 🙂
So, I finally got a Twitter account and I’m running it partially for me and partially for The Commonplace Chronicles. I’m so excited about it! So let me know all of your Twitter handles and I’ll be sure to hit you up on this website. It’d be sweet and supportive for y’all to follow me too, to stay tuned to The Commonplace Chronicles.
Let’s spread this humdrum business throughout the world.
My Twitter handle is : alphocalyptic and I’m a proud Hufflepuff so watch out for that badger as a profile picture. Can’t wait to meet you guys on Twitter too!